


Wriggle, Jiggle, Bake!

by hailqiqi



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 3 year olds take things literally it's what they do, Baby Shiro - Freeform, Bonding, Cookies!, Fluff, Food Fights, Gen, Hide and Seek, Plotless Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, canon-verse, de-aged paladins, toddler Keith, toddler Lance, why are they kids? idk magic, written for the tiny adventures zine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-17 00:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailqiqi/pseuds/hailqiqi
Summary: “Okay, so you’ve been magically de-aged — because apparently that’s a thing. Why is that a thing? Whatever. Of course it’s a thing out here."---When Shiro, Lance and Keith fail to return from a mission, Hunk and Pidge quickly race to their rescue - only to find themselves stuck playing babysitter while the Alteans desperately try to find a way to turn their teammates back to normal.It might be a rare afternoon off from defending the universe, but honestly? Defending the universe is probably easier.---Illustrated by the incredible Foxy Joy!





	Wriggle, Jiggle, Bake!

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my piece for the cute-as-quiznak Tiny Adventures Zine!
> 
> Foxy Joy came up with the initial concept, then I came up with the story, and she illustrated one of the scenes and *oh my god it's so ADORABLE*. I was super lucky to work with such a talented artist; make sure to check her out!
> 
> Shout outs to Foxy Joy, Misty and Morie for their help with this fic, and also to Mod K for helping to critique my writing and just improve overall :)

[Tiny Adventures Zine](http://tinyadventureszine.tumblr.com) (if you want to die of cuteness and bemoan missing preorders)

[The Amazing Foxy Joy's Art Blog](http://foxyjoy-art.tumblr.com) (her kid art will also kill you with cuteness)

Also remember to check out the other fics in the collection! ~~just in case your heart's still beating~~

 

 

~~\----~~

 

 

 

“5...6...7…” Eyes closed, Pidge grinned as light footsteps scurried across the floor behind her. “8...9...10… Ready or not, here I come!”

She sprung up from the sofa and scanned the room, pointedly ignoring the pile of blankets quivering in the corner of the opposite sofa, and started ripping the cushions off the sofa she’d been sitting on. “Are you hiding here?” Giggles answered her question. “Maybe here?” More giggles. “Not behind this one?”

The pile of blankets shifted, and Pidge tiptoed over to the middle sofa with exaggerated steps. “Maybe one of you is hiding...here!”

She thrust her head over the back of the sofa to check behind it, feigning shock when she found nobody there. “Oh no! You two are such good hiders!” She turned back to the room, pretending to check underneath the sofas before calling out in a sing-song voice: “Where’s Keith? Where’s Lance?”

“Here!” Lance popped up from behind the final sofa, then promptly burst into giggles.

Keith threw the blanket aside, scowling. “You’re s’posed to hide!”

Lance grabbed at the blanket and tugged it over the sofa back, laughing hysterically, and Keith went vaulting over the back to chase him. Pidge lunged but was too slow, and she let out a heavy sigh as the argument started. She really should have expected Kid-Keith to be just as agile and robust as Normal-Keith, but he’d still managed to give her five heart attacks over a single afternoon.

Keith’s shouting turned into laughter, the tussle becoming into a game of tag, and Pidge flopped onto the sofa to take a break while they were distracted. Toddlers were exhausting. She should’ve fought Hunk for Shiro, but he’d been so starry-eyed over Shiro’s ‘wittle toesies!’ that she couldn’t say no.

Pidge sighed. If she couldn’t have newborn duty she would rather be figuring out what happened to her teammates, but Coran knew the most about the legends from that quadrant and Allura…wasn’t a kid person. That left Pidge babysitting for the first time in years.

Then again, it wasn’t all bad. Interacting with them was _interesting_. Lance had a terrible temper but was easy to distract — neither of which were a surprise — but he was also shy with the adults, which _was_ a surprise. Keith, on the other hand, was almost completely different to his older self: open, friendly, affectionate, eager to tell you what he was doing and quick to ask for and offer hugs.

What kind of childhood would have made him bottle all that affection up…? The thought made her heart ache, but she quickly brushed it aside at a tug on her sleeve. She could dwell on it later.

“Lance? What’s up, chico?”

Lance wordlessly pointed at Keith’s butt, which was sticking out from under the sofa as its owner wriggled around looking for something. “Do you want me to get something?” Nod. “Okay then.”

Pidge joined Keith in rummaging around under the sofa with a sigh. Time to get back to work.

Hunk was probably napping with the baby, the big jerk.

 

\---

 

“WAHHHHHHHHH!!”

Hunk was _really_ regretting his life choices right now.

And they weren’t even his choices! He hadn’t done anything to make Shiro turn into a baby. He’d been running diagnostics in the castle when Lance, Keith and Shiro had run into some trouble on a mission and lost contact. One panicked rescue mission later and him and Pidge were unloading two toddlers and a baby at the castle.

“Look, none of this is my fault, so can you stop screaming at me?!” Hunk pointed a finger at baby Shiro, who lay on the bed screeching, waving his tiny fist in the air. “You’re the one who got yourself magically kid-ified!”

Shiro ignored the accusation, and kept up the ear-splitting screaming, his scrunched-up face bright red with exertion. Hunk stared at him for a moment, then groaned, dropping his elbows onto the bed and his forehead onto his hands.

“Okay, so, I’ve fed you twice, burped you twice, you’ve slept, you’re clean, and you were fine until you started this.” He looked up again. “Work with me here, buddy. What do you want?”

Shiro kept screaming.

“Ugh,” Hunk groaned, turning around to rest his back against the bed. “Okay, so you’ve been magically de-aged — because apparently that’s a thing. Why is that a thing? Whatever. Of course it’s a thing out here. Just to make things easy.

“And now you’re screaming, but you should be fine, because I’ve done everything I used to do for my niece and nephew and the only thing left is to give you to your mom, but your mom’s not here because she’s back on Earth and thinks you’re dead so you have to get big again to say hi to her and…” Hunk’s eyes widened. “Oh no. Oh no! What if we can’t fix this? Or what if I messed something up and now something’s _really_ wrong and when you get bigger again you’re gonna be disabled or have memory problems or can’t talk or something…!”

He spun around to stare at Shiro in horror, then dropped his head to the mattress in despair.

He didn’t know how to fix this, and he didn’t know what to do to make Shiro stop crying, so he might as well cry with him.

 

\---

 

Pidge winced as she followed the boys around the corner towards Hunk’s room. They’d heard Shiro screaming all the way from the lounge, but it was so much _louder_ up close.

Why had he been crying for so long? Was Hunk even in there? If he was, he was probably going crazy. If he wasn’t… If he wasn’t, she had a baby to calm down, and then a friend to find and throw in a healing pod, because he better have a quiznaking good reason for abandoning the baby.

“Pidge! Baby Shiro crying!” Keith exclaimed helpfully as he pushed at the door, unleashing the full force of the sound as it opened and bounding into the room. “Hunk! You crying! Like Baby Shiro!”

“Wait, Hunk’s crying?” Pidge hurried into the room, Lance trailing behind, just in time to witness Hunk engulf Keith in a massive hug.

“Keith! Keith, buddy, he won’t stop crying! And now I can’t stop crying!” Hunk hugged the squirming boy tightly, sobbing as he attempted to bury his face in his shoulder. Pidge looked over his shoulder to where Shiro lay on the bed, tears rolling down his bright red cheeks.

First things first. Pidge grabbed a blanket from the bed and spread it out, chiding Lance for getting under her elbows as she smoothed it, then lifted Shiro and placed him in the middle of it. She paused, considering — How did swaddling work again? Did it work on babies with only one arm? Oh, whatever. Snuggling would do.

She scooped him up, blanket and all, and held him tightly to her chest while she bounced on the balls of her feet making shushing noises. The squalling let up immediately, but not completely.

“Baby likes to dance?” Pidge glanced down and smiled.

“Kind of. All babies like it when you jiggle them like this,” she replied, patting Shiro gently. “They like to hear your heartbeat, too.”

Lance made a strange face but didn’t respond, and Pidge went back to shushing Shiro. The baby’s cries were slowly quieting, losing their desperate edge as he finally started snuggling into her embrace.

When she looked up, Hunk was staring at her wide-eyed, Keith forgotten beside him.

“What?”

“How did you _do_ that?!”

Pidge shrugged. “Maybe he just needed a cuddle?”

“But I tried that!” Hunk clambered off the floor, spreading his arms wide in indignation. “I tried that twice! Why did it work for you and not for me?”

“I don’t know,” Pidge replied, laughing. “Maybe he didn’t want a cuddle then but does now? Babies are like that.”

Hunk groaned. “Babies make no sense.”

“Babies make lots of sense,” she corrected, ignoring Hunk’s scoff. “Much more sense than people, anyway. They’re like computers — input equals output, and there’s only so many things that can go wrong. Assuming they’re healthy.”

“Hmm —“ Hunk dropped onto the mattress with a thud, a weird expression on his face. “I would never have pegged you for a baby person, Pidge. Hey, don’t touch that!”

Hunk leaned down and swiped a wrench out of Keith’s hands, then grabbed his own blanket and dropped it over both boys as a distraction. Two outraged yells went up and quickly dissolved into giggles as Hunk tickled them through the blanket with his foot.

Pidge laughed. “I’ve got a couple of baby cousins and I was the family babysitter for a few years. I can do babies.” She made a face at Shiro, then took a step forward and nudged a blanket lump in the back with a foot. The lump — Lance? — yelped and spun around, getting more tangled in the blanket in the process, and Pidge grinned. “ _These two_ have way too many opinions, though. I stop liking kids so much once they learn to talk.”

“Okay, that sounds more like you,” Hunk replied with a laugh.

Hunk was actually really good at keeping them entertained — and keeping their sticky fingers occupied. Maybe Pidge could get newborn duty after all.

“Hey Hunk. Why don’t you watch the boys, and I’ll look after Shiro?” She bounced him in her arms lightly. “You seem much better at that than me, and I like babies more. Plus we can’t exactly fix them, so we might as well have some fun.”

“Hmm.” Hunk stood up, grinning, then lifted the blanket off the toddlers with a flourish. “Okay boys, who wants to make cookies with Uncle Hunk?”

“Cookies!” Keith jumped at him immediately. “I want cookies!”

Lance looked uncertain. “Pidge coming too?”

“I’m not coming, chico,” she said, offering him a reassuring smile. “Can you make some cookies for me and Baby Shiro?”

[ ](http://foxyjoy-art.tumblr.com/post/174473741764/my-piece-from-the-tiny-adventures-zine-it-was-a)

Lance nodded with all the determination of a three-year-old, but his reply was cut off with a squawk when he was swept up in a pair of strong arms and spun around towards the door.

“C’mon buddy! Time’s a-wastin’ and I’m hungry!” The door slid closed behind them, leaving Pidge and Shiro in a sudden quiet.

It was nice after all of the noise. Pidge bounced the baby in her arms, thinking. “How does the observation deck sound? Let’s go look at the stars.”

Shiro stared at her. She took that for a yes.

 

\---

 

Swapping had been a good idea. Teaching Keith and Lance to bake had been a better one.

The boys stood on top of chairs pushed up to the kitchen counter, a large silver bowl between them. It turned out they weren’t great at co-operating as toddlers, either, so Hunk had been very careful to give them each a job: Lance was in charge of adding the ingredients to the bowl, and Keith, with his slightly better motor skills, was in charge of the mixing. Hunk would carefully measure the ingredient and hand it to Lance, who would dump it into the bowl with a dramatic flourish, and Keith would then announce his delight about the new colour (to be fair, space ingredients were all really colourful) before attacking it with the spoon.

They were already four ingredients into Hunk’s favourite cookie recipe with no incident, and Hunk was starting to feel like he could relax after all. So far, so good.

Lance dumped the Frivoid eggs into the bowl, prompting Keith to exclaim: “Blue! My favourite colour!”

“Okay Lance, now the flour…”

Keith beamed in delight as Lance added the lurid powder to the bowl. “Green! That’s my favourite colour!” He mixed the flour a little bit too vigorously, sending a cloud of powder into the air and making Lance sneeze. “Bless you!”

Lance rubbed his nose as Keith giggled at him, and Hunk smiled. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. If they never found a cure, at least Hunk could make sure his friends had a happy second childhood. If they did find a cure — and hey, anything was possible, right? — then Hunk hoped they wouldn’t forget this experience entirely. He’d never seen Keith smile so much before.

A little orange packet tapped him on the nose. “This?”

Hunk blinked. Right. That was the Olkarion equivalent of baking soda. “Yep, that one.” Hunk ripped it open for him. “Pour it in and mix it.”

And that was when it all went wrong.

Keith’s shriek of “Orange! My fav — “ turned into a yell of outrage as Lance snatched the spoon. Keith snatched the spoon back before Lance could stir, knocking the bowl hard enough to send a little orange cloud of powder into the air and Lance’s hair and clothes. Lance flailed his arms, hollering as he spun around to try and get the powder off him — four feet off the ground.

The chair started to topple, and Hunk forgot how to breathe.

Lance’s cry of confused terror brought him back to reality and he lunged. Hunk landed on the floor on his back, narrowly plucking Lance from the air and kicking the chair away from him and Keith before it crashed to the ground with a clatter.

“Woah!” Keith exclaimed, spinning around to point at Hunk with his spoon.

The spoon which, until then, had still been inside the mixing bowl.

“Ow! Gah!” Hunk’s cry of pain turned into a splutter as the bowl cracked against his shoulder, dousing him and Lance in orange powder and green-ish cookie goop.

Keith stared at him, wide-eyed. “Oops.”

Hunk grinned. “Oops is right. You are so gonna get it!” He reached up, plucked the toddler from the chair and dragged him down to the dogpile before grabbing some cookie goop and smushing it in his hair. “Food fight!”

Soon enough the kitchen echoed with laughter as goop, powders and who-knows-what-else flew around the counters. Keith had knocked over the flour container and was almost completely green, and Lance had somehow ended up with batter all down his shirt (Hunk suspected that was his own doing rather than his or Keith’s). Hunk could feel batter dripping off one ear but he didn’t care. He hadn’t had this much fun in ages.

“What the quiznak is going on?”

Hunk grinned sheepishly at the sight of Pidge standing beside the counter, holding a sleepy Shiro. He started clambering to his feet but the boys were quicker. “PIDGE!”

“I don’t think so!” Pidge laughed as she dodged around them, dancing just out of reach. “You guys are covered! No hugs for me, thanks!”

“Aw, but we need a nice hug to say hello!” Hunk wrapped her up from behind, his grin growing even wider as she shrieked when he smooshed a handful of batter into her hair. “Here, have some cookie dough! We made it just for you!”

“Hunk! I was clean! Now I need a shower!”

Hunk just laughed. “You can’t fix that right now, so you might as well have some fun!”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm super proud of my Hunk dialogue in other stories, but writing that scene with Hunk and Shiro? It killed me. Hunk POV is HARD.
> 
> Also, I like the idea of Lance being more uncertain as a kid because he would have spent time primarily with only his family. Keith, on the other hand, I always thought would be very open and friendly if he had had a different upbringing so... Happy Baby Keith.
> 
> The blanket bit was original three times as long but I had to cut it. (I really wish I'd kept the cut somewhere)


End file.
